Halloween in the Jensen Household
by jujitsuelf
Summary: The funnest night of the year...


**Disclaimer – All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended**

"Uncle Jake!" A small blur hurled itself at Jensen as soon as he stepped through his sister's front door, making him stagger back a few steps and tread on Pooch's foot.

"Son of a bi..." Pooch began wrathfully, then saw the glare Jess was giving him and hastily, "...gun. Definitely son of a gun, that's exactly what I was gonna say." He hobbled into the living room, glad to be away from the maternal death stare.

"Uncle Jake, you know what day it is?" Hannah squeaked, bouncing up and down so fast she looked like she had miniature space hoppers attached to her feet.

"Sure do, angel," Jake grinned, swinging her into the air, making her squeal again. "You have your costume ready?"

"Yep," Hannah replied, her eyes shining with the same kind of zeal Jake showed when presented with an unsolvable tech problem. "Mom made it special. It's got glitter and sparkles and fairy wings and rainbows and everything! It's gonna rock, I'm so gonna look better than Sarah Watson."

"You always look better than Sarah Watson," Jake assured her, hugging her again and mouthing, "who's Sarah Watson?" at his sister over the top of Hannah's head.

Jess just shook her head and grinned. "Come on, better get you into that outfit if you want to go trick or treating," she said, prizing her offspring forcibly from her brother's grasp. As she propelled Hannah up the stairs she called over her shoulder, "Jake, your costume's in your room. Yours too, Cougs."

Cougar poked Jensen between the shoulder blades. "¿Que? What does she mean, _my_ costume?"

Jake rubbed the back of his head and screwed up his face, "Er, yeah, I kinda forgot to mention. I sort of agreed that we'd take Hannah trick or treating tonight. And it's a Jensen family tradition that anyone who goes T or T'ing has to be in costume."

"I'm not in the Jensen family," Cougar said flatly, "and I don't do costumes. Take Pooch."

"No!" Pooch yelled from the living room. "I'm in no way involved in this, I'm just the driver, remember? Leave me out of it."

"Come on, Cougs," Jake wheedled, edging into Cougar's space and pouting in what he hoped was an appealing way. "It's just one night. It's for Hannah, she's been looking forward to it. You don't want to let her down, do you?" His blue eyes were huge and sad behind his absurd glasses.

Cougar sighed, and Jake knew he'd won the battle.

"Okay," Cougar said reluctantly. "But never again. I'm only doing this once."

"Fine," Jake said readily, already planning how to manipulate Cougar into making this a yearly ritual. "And as a reward for being awesome I'll do that thing with my tongue that you like so much when we get home later."

"You mean you'll shut up, just for me?" Cougar said acidly.

Jensen clutched at his chest, "Oh, Cougar. I'm wounded. Anyone would think my ability to express myself irritated you."

"It's irritating the hell out of me right now!" Pooch yelled. "Can you keep it down? I'm tryin' to Skype Jolene."

Jensen rolled his eyes, "Pussy whipped, poor Poochy. I feel for him." His grin turned dirty, "But I'd rather feel _you_..." Pulling Cougar close he planted a wet kiss on his unresisting mouth and squeezed his ass.

Cougar was a little light headed when they broke apart and his pants were tighter than they had been a moment before.

Jake chuckled, "Come on, let's go see what Jess has in store for us."

"If it's a Jedi outfit, the deal's off," Cougar muttered as he followed Jake up the stairs.

Jake scoffed, "Please, give my big sister some credit. She totally knows Han Solo owned Star Wars. If she was going to head for that particular saga for costume inspiration, you would be Solo, have no fear."

He pushed open his bedroom door and stopped, gazing at the costumes laid out on the bed. "Oh. Well that's...unexpected."

Cougar stared, open-mouthed at the short green tunic and green tights, then snapped his jaw shut and said, "If that's mine, I don't care what sexual favors you offer, I'm not wearing it."

"Nope, not yours," Jensen said, pointing to a small note pinned to the tunic that proclaimed it to be 'Jake's' in Jess' spiky capitals.

"Oh thank God," Cougar breathed, and turned his attention to the other costume. He picked it up carefully as though he expected it to bite him. Luckily it didn't seem to include any tights, and he gave a sigh of relief. Turning it this way and that he realized that it was an old fashioned frock coat. The full skirt of it swished as he moved it.

"Cool," Jake grinned delightedly. "I would have gone more Jack Sparrow but Jess' idea's definitely better."

"Huh?" Cougar said, bemused.

Jensen picked up a large black hat with an extravagant feather stuck into the brim and balanced it on Cougar's head. "Cap'n Hook, I presume. Which obviously makes me your arch enemy, Peter Pan." He gestured to the green tunic. "God, I hope it's long enough to be decent, otherwise I don't think I should be out in public in that."

"Peter Pan," Cougar said, a smile playing on his lips. "Seems appropriate, you've never really grown up, have you?"

"Who wants to be a grown up?" Jensen said, shuddering in mock-horror.

A sudden bang on the door made them both jump a little. Hannah's strident eight year old voice came through the thin wood, "Uncle Jake? Tio Cougar? Are you ready yet? If we don't go soon all the candy will be gone!"

"Okay," Jake replied, hurriedly stripping off his coat and t-shirt. "Come on, Cougs, you heard her. If we're not ready soon she'll be in here barking at us like Clay when he's got a hangover."

Cougar allowed himself a moment to appreciate the sight of Jensen hopping around on one foot, trying to pull his pants off without removing his boots first and barely managing it without falling on his face. "Yep," he muttered to himself, removing his own coat. "Definitely the boy who wouldn't grow up."

A few minutes later, after much muttered swearing from Jake when he had problems pulling on the tights, Cougar surveyed him thoughtfully.

The green tunic covered Jensen's modesty but not by much. His long legs looked even longer than normal being covered only in thin green gauzy stuff. He stared at himself in the mirror and cocked his head to one side. "What do you think, Cougs? Am I Peter Pan or Robin Hood?"

Cougar swallowed before answering. The sight of Jensen's backside, with the tunic just skimming the bottom of his firm, bitable buttocks was causing him some considerable discomfort, his pants were now uncomfortably tight.

"You look...fine," he eventually managed.

Jake turned and grinned. "Fine? That's the best you can do? What happened to those sweet Spanish nothings you keep whispering in my ear?"

Cougar chuckled and tugged off his t-shirt, picking up the white linen shirt that was apparently part of his costume. As he dragged it over his head, he mumbled, "You look great. Shame you can't wear that when we're on mission. At least the bad guys would be too busy looking at you to notice the rest of us."

"Thanks," Jake replied, "I think. Was there a compliment in there somewhere?"

Cougar's head popped through the neck of the shirt and he said in the voice that he knew always went straight to Jake's groin, "You know there was. You look good, too freakin' good. I might have to drag you into a dark alley while we're out."

"Oh God, you'd scar the kids for life!" Jensen laughed, "Seeing Captain Hook getting down and dirty with Peter Pan would probably put them off the story forever. But," he looked Cougar up and down appreciatively, "I have to say, the idea isn't entirely without its merits."

At that moment Cougar was wearing nothing but the large linen shirt which hung to mid-thigh. There were frills around the neckline and cuffs, but somehow Cougar made them appear manly. His hair was a mess and Jensen couldn't resist tugging the tie from it, letting it fall over his shoulders.

"Satisfied?" Cougar asked with a smirk.

"Not yet," Jensen replied quietly, sliding his hand into Cougar's hair and gently pulling the other man's head back. He laid a soft kiss on Cougar's exposed throat and muttered against the tender skin, "Later, I'm gonna fuck you so damn hard..."

"Promises, promises, Peter," Cougar said, his breathing speeding up as Jake's fingers tightened in his hair. "Lemme go so I can get dressed, Hannah's waiting."

"You really want me to let go?" Jake said, his voice barely more than a whisper, his breath sliding over Cougar's bare neck like silk.

"Not really," Cougar confessed, slipping his hand between them and slowly rubbing Jake's groin.

Jake sucked in a sharp breath. He was already more than half hard and swore quietly as Cougar's fingers teasingly walked down his aching shaft. "When we get back, yeah?"

Cougar nodded silently, his eyes hot and sultry and promising things that made Jensen wish he wasn't wearing such revealing tights.

"Uncle Jake!" Hannah called again, "You ready yet?"

"Yep," Jensen called in a strained voice, Cougar's hand was still on his cock and to be honest going out trick or treating was the last thing he wanted to do. Reluctantly he let go of Cougar's hair, smoothing it down into some kind of order. "Guess you'd better put your pants on. You'll get cold if you go out like that." He cast another appreciative smile down at the sniper's bare legs, "Although I vote for a costume involving less clothes when we get home."

"Deal," Cougar said shortly, those irresistible eyes of his still holding Jake's.

His hand vanished from Jensen's cock and for a second the younger man bit back a whimper of frustration. But then Cougar bent over to retrieve his pants and everything was better.

Holding them up, the sniper frowned. "Where's the rest of them? Was Captain Hook shorter than me?"

"Breeches, dude," Jensen said, holding back laughter at Cougar's wrinkled nose and puzzled expression. "They only come to your knees. I guess there's boots or something to wear with 'em."

"Oh yeah," Cougar's expression cleared as he looked at the knee length, shiny black boots with big silver buckles. "Good boots."

Jake smiled, sly and filthy as fuck, "You can wear 'em later."

Cougar's answering smile was dirtier still and Jake rolled his eyes as his cock gave a hopeful twitch. When would he get over wanting to push the sniper up against a wall and kiss him till he stopped wriggling? Watching Cougar tug the red velvet breeches on, Jensen honestly didn't think he'd ever be able to control himself around the other man.

Coming out to each other had been difficult and they'd both wasted a lot of time dancing around the issue of their mutual attraction. Time that could have been better spent on a horizontal surface, fucking each other's brains out. But now they were each aware of how the other felt, desire so strong Jake felt sure other people must be able to sense as it crackled between them night and day. Of course, most of the time they were completely professional, and Clay had made it very clear that if their 'thing' messed up his team dynamic, they'd both be transferred before they could blink. But when they did get the chance to just be Carlos and Jake, not only was the sex awesome, just being together made Jensen feel a little like he was floating, it was so easy and effortless.

Without thinking, Jake reached out to rest his hand on Cougar's shoulder, wanting to feel the tight muscles play under his fingers.

"What?" Cougar asked, looking up.

"Nothing," Jake smiled, "just...nothing."

Cougar finished pulling on the velvet breeches and tucked the flowing shirt into the waistband. Before reaching for the boots he slid a hand around the back of Jake's neck and tugged him into a quick, hot kiss. When he released him, Jake gasped for air and looked a little dazed. Cougar smirked. "Better?"

"Getting there," Jensen said, smoothing his tunic down and willing his hard-on to subside.

Cougar pulled on the boots, which amazingly, fit as though they'd been made for him, and stood up. "What do you think?"

"What I'm thinking right now isn't really something you could say in polite conversation," Jensen replied, rubbing his nose.

"Since when do we have polite conversations?" Cougar snorted.

"Yeah, true," Jensen admitted. "Anyway, you look edible. I might have to take a bite while we're out. Hannah's gonna be loading up on candy, it's only fair I get to eat the good stuff too." His eyes flashed in anticipation and Cougar's own cock leaped in response.

Shrugging the heavy red coat on, Cougar looked at himself in the mirror and had to admit he didn't look completely ridiculous. He straightened the ruffles at his cuffs and made sure they cascaded down over his wide lapels. "Should I tie my hair back?" He asked Jake's reflection, which had appeared over his right shoulder.

"Nope, leave it down," Jake instantly replied, twisting a stray strand around his finger. "Okay, I take it back, you look more than edible."

For a second they just stared at each other, and Jensen felt that tension crackle again. He was a hair's breadth away from ripping the costume back off of Cougar again when Hannah called, "Uncle Jake!Tio Cougar! I wanna go, are you ready _yet_?"

"Si," Cougar replied, smiling conspiratorially at Jensen. "We're ready." He positioned the extravagant hat on his head, fluffed out his hair and pinched Jake's ass for good measure.

Jensen grabbed the small green hat that Jess had provided for him and perched it on his short hair, adjusting the reddish feather until he was satisfied.

Cougar smiled, if ever a costume suited someone's personality, this one suited Jensen. But he knew most of the goofy 'oops, I forgot my gun in the van' stuff was simply a front. However many people thought Jake was nothing more than an overgrown teenager in a man's body, there were others who would swear that he was also one of the hardest, most efficient soldiers that the US Army had ever sent through Spec Ops training. Not many people saw that Jake, the scary one that only came to the surface when he or his team were threatened. And those that did see that side of him didn't generally live long enough to tell the tale. For a moment Cougar regretted that Jensen had lost so much of his wide-eyed innocence in the name of national security, but quickly shook the dark mood off. Jake had known what he'd gotten himself into when he was picked for Black Ops, the same way the rest of them had.

"Come on then," Jensen said cheerily, wiggling his toes in the soft suede shoes that came with his outfit. "Let's face the music and let Pooch laugh at us."

Cougar grimaced but opened the door with a flourish, suspecting, quite rightly, that Hannah would be directly outside.

"Wow, Tio Cougar," the little girl breathed, touching the red velvet of his coat reverently. "You look...wow." Jake edged out from behind Cougar and posed, his hands on his hips, grinning irreverently. "Uncle Jake!" Hannah squealed, in a paroxysm of joy. "You're Peter Pan! And Tio Cougar's Captain Hook! This is _so_ awesome."

Jess appeared at the top of the stairs, calling, "Come on, are you ready yet or are you waiting for next Halloween before you venture out?" She stopped as her eyes settled on Cougar. "Wow. That costume didn't look half as good on the mannequin in the store. If Jake wasn't doing his thing with you, I'd take a shot right now."

Cougar actually blushed, making Jake howl with laughter while Hannah said in a confused voice,

"What's Uncle Jake's thing and what does he do with Tio Cougar?"

"I'll tell you when you're older, pumpkin," Jake chuckled, picking her up. "And that's a very pretty costume you're wearing. I love the wings. I take it you're Tinkerbell?"

Hannah nodded vigorously, her wings shimmering in the electric light. "You look awesome, Sarah Watson's gonna be so jealous."

"Who is this Sarah Watson?" Jake asked plaintively. "Does she say mean things to you? Do I need to go have a little talk with her?"

Behind him, Cougar's fingers twitched as though inching toward an imaginary trigger. As far as he was concerned, Jake's sister and niece were under his protection as much as they were under Jake's. Anyone who dared to pick on little Hannah would have two very scary uncles to deal with.

"No," Hannah giggled, "she's a girl in my class. She always has to have the best stuff, and thinks she's better than everyone else. It'd be nice to make her jealous."

"Is that entirely nice?" Jake asked, a frown creasing his forehead.

"Yes," Cougar answered for Hannah, winking at her and grinning. "Should we go now?"

Hannah wriggled out of Jensen's arms and flew down the stairs. They heard her loudly showing her costume to Pooch who manfully admired the wings and tutu.

"Maybe I should have made her the Duracell bunny," Jess sighed, rubbing her eyes. "Seriously, her batteries never run out and mine are about to die."

"Don't worry, sis," Jake pulled her into a rough brotherly hug, "we'll keep her out of your way for a couple of hours."

"You're an angel, bro," Jess smiled. "And you, Cougs, I don't think I can say what you are because Jake will accuse me of flirting with his man."

Cougar smiled, suddenly missing the easy banter he used to have with his own sisters. He really should call them more often.

"You ready to face the screaming hordes, dude?" Jensen asked, strolling downstairs as though he didn't have a care in the world.

"Yeah, let's go," Cougar replied, not at all sure Jake should be out in public in that outfit. Not that he was the jealous type, well, maybe only a little, but the thought of anyone and everyone being able to get an eyeful of Jake's legs and ass made him slightly twitchy. It was probably a good thing he wasn't armed. The knife he'd slipped into his boot totally didn't count as a weapon. That was simply a necessary precaution.

Hannah bolted out of the front door, yelling a goodbye to her mother and demanding to know where they should go first.

Jake laughed and took her by the hand, leading her up the wide street. "We can do this in a nice systematic way, that way we don't cover ground we've already been over, therefore wasting less time and getting more candy."

"You're funny when you talk like that," Hannah smiled. "Do all soldiers sound like you?"

Cougar turned his bark of laughter into a cough at Jake's glare and said, "No, your Uncle Jake is pretty unique, even in the army."

Jake's eyes softened at that and he murmured, "Well, Tio Cougar's one of a kind too."

"Are you two gonna be all mushy?" Hannah asked, her young face worried.

"Nope," Jake said briskly, "No mushiness tonight, promise." His smile at Cougar promised otherwise and Cougar felt the heat begin to rise in him again.

After they'd been to a few houses and Hannah's candy bucket was growing fuller, Cougar was sure it had been a bad idea to let Jake out in his Peter Pan costume. Every woman who saw him stared for a moment, then started flirting as though their lives depended on it. Their eyes slid over the short green tunic, broad shoulders and strong arms and all the way down to his feet. Cougar tried not to glower at them, it was impossible not to look at Jake but seriously, some of them were practically drooling over him.

Not that he escaped the women's attentions. By the time they'd done two streets, he already had three phone numbers in his pocket. One lady whispered in his ear that she'd leave her window open that night if he got lonely and another tried to goose him as he followed Hannah back down her garden path.

"How you holding up, Captain?" Jake smirked, plucking at his tights. He'd never admit it to a living soul but they actually felt kind of nice, snug and almost warm.

Cougar tried to look grumpy but looked at Hannah, already skipping round on a monumental sugar high and had to grin. "I'll survive. But avoiding bullets is less nerve-wracking than avoiding soccer moms."

"Don't worry," Jake leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "just think how grateful I'll be when we get home."

His face was mere inches from Cougar's and the sniper fought back the urge to kiss him senseless there and then. Instead, Cougar cleared his throat and said, "How grateful, exactly?"

Jensen smiled again, "Grateful enough to fuck you till you can't walk properly."

Cougar swallowed hard and summoned a smirk, "If you think you're up to it."

Jensen's smile grew, his eyes flashing. "I think I'll manage it. If you can cope with the awesomeness that is me." Hannah called to them to follow her and Jake turned, deliberately wiggling his ass in Cougar's direction.

"Awesomeness isn't a word," Cougar muttered, but walked after that swaying ass.

An hour later Hannah was beginning to flag and her smile was fading slightly.

"Time to go home?" Jake asked, peering at her.

"In a minute," she replied tiredly, "maybe we could just do this street?"

"Sure," Jake grinned, then glanced at Cougar. "You doing okay there, Cap'n?"

Cougar guiltily hid the bar of chocolate he'd filched from Hannah's bucket in his pocket and nodded. "Yeah, fine, why?"

Shaking his head and grinning, Jensen muttered, "How has nobody else ever noticed what a sweet tooth you have?"

"Nobody looks at me," Cougar replied softly, watching Hannah scamper up yet another garden path. "They see the hat and the rifle and nothing beyond 'em. S'the way I like it."

"Yeah," Jake said quietly, wondering for the hundredth time just what Cougar was running away from that had made him choose the army as a hiding place. "If it's any consolation, I saw past them from day one. I know you're really a gooey snuggle bunny underneath all the layers of hard ass and snarky silence."

"Call me a gooey snuggle bunny again and I will shoot you," Cougar replied seriously, although a smile was playing around the corners of his mouth.

"Nah, you don't wanna do that," Jake said confidently, "who else would you find to spoon with in the middle of the night?"

"I do not..." Cougar began, then shrugged as Jake glanced at him. "Okay, well, if I do it in my sleep, I have no control over it, do I?"

Laughing, Jensen threw an arm around Cougar's shoulders and squeezed. "I didn't say I didn't like it. Being your teddy bear is kinda cool. Although your grip is like freakin' iron sometimes. Getting to the bathroom in a hurry can be awkward."

"Uncle Jake, I think I'm done," Hannah said wearily as she returned with more candy.

"Okay, hop on up," Jake said, helping the little girl to clamber up onto his back. "Captain, set a course for home, will you?"

Cougar rolled his eyes but grinned at Hannah and led the way back to Jess' house.

Hannah stumbled into the kitchen, deposited her bucket of candy and chocolate on one of the counters, waved at her mother and headed upstairs. Cougar eyed the candy hopefully until Jake glared at him and wagged a finger reproachfully.

"Cougar, no. Down, boy. I'll get you your own candy stash."

Unable to think of a suitably cutting reply, Cougar settled for snorting derisively and stamped off upstairs to get out of the costume.

Jake lingered by the kitchen table for a moment, perhaps he should make at least a show of talking to Jess, rather than just running after Cougar like a moth to a freakin' flame. Jess watched him, a smile on her face.

"What?" Jake asked, ready for sisterly interference.

"Jacob, sometimes for all your brains, you're still an idiot," Jess replied.

"Why?" Jake demanded.

"You have a gorgeous, be-costumed boyfriend waiting for you up in your bedroom, and still you're here talking to me." She shook her head sadly. "I have a moron for a brother."

"I figured it was rude to just run off and have sex without stopping to say hi," Jake protested, grabbing a candy bar from Hannah's bucket and biting into it savagely.

Jess pinned him with a look. "If our roles were reversed, I'd be up those stairs so fast you'd think I had wings."

Jake grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, good point. Okay, if you think you can cope without the pleasure of my company for the rest of the evening, I'll bid you good night."

Jess rolled her eyes, "'Bid you good night.' Did you enjoy your trip from the nineteenth century?"

Bowing low, Jake winked and said grandly, "Farewell, sister mine, I'm off to go a'ravishing."

Jess' laugh and hoot of encouragement followed him up the stairs. He peeked around Hannah's door before heading to his own room, and saw that she was spreadeagled on her bed, fast asleep already. Smiling affectionately he pulled the door closed and made a mental note to keep the noise to a minimum tonight. It wasn't really his fault that Cougar made him moan in ecstasy but he didn't want to face Jess in the morning if he woke her daughter with cries of 'Oh God, yes, harder!'

Nimbly stepping over the creaky floorboard in the middle of the landing, Jake pushed open his own bedroom door, mentally rubbing his hands in glee at the thought of hot dirty sex with Cougar while they were both still in costume. But as soon as the bed came into view he paused and smiled ruefully.

Cougar was lying sprawled face down, the frock coat carefully placed back on its hanger. He was still wearing the linen shirt, breeches and boots and Jake bit the inside of his mouth as he ogled the sniper's ass in the tight red velvet.

Unfortunately Cougar chose that moment to snore loudly and mumble in his sleep. It was a closely guarded secretly among the Losers that their famously silent sniper talked more when he was asleep than he did when he was wide awake. They'd all heard bits and pieces of information about Cougar's family and laughed at the snippets of conversation he'd come out with when necessity had dictated that they sleep close to one another.

Right now he muttered something about making a tactical retreat from the soccer moms and hissed that Jensen should take their six as they made their way home. Jake grinned and shook his head. So much for hot sex.

As gently as he could, Jake pulled the shiny boots off and rolled Cougar over onto his back in order to get at the lacings of his breeches. Cougar frowned and mumbled about hating MREs as Jake eased the breeches off but subsided into snores again in minutes.

In nothing but his flowing shirt, with his unbound hair all over the snowy pillow, he looked like a living, albeit Hispanic, Casanova, Jake thought, straight out of the pages of history and twice as handsome. He sighed and began peeling off his green tights, still wondering how he came to be sleeping with the hottest man he'd ever seen in his life. Maybe there was a God who didn't entirely hate him, after all.

After a brief tussle with the tunic which was surprisingly difficult to pull over his head, as it really was indecently snug, Jensen collapsed into bed with a heartfelt sigh. Cougar instantly threw an arm over his chest and dragged him close, plastering himself along the length of Jake's body and smiling in his sleep.

As he began to drift off, Jake heard a sleepy voice mutter in his ear, "Next year we go as Han and Chewie. And if you think for a second that I'll be Chewie, you're sleeping on the floor."

Jake chuckled, he really did have the best boyfriend in the world.


End file.
